THE VOTES HAVE BEEN COUNTED AND VERIFIED...

So, the race between the polished monkey and the Sesame Street puppet is over, and the heavily-weighted audience has chosen – the next Labour Party leader is the geeky, younger Miliband – Ed.

Shocker. I honestly didn’t expect that outcome – discovering it via text in the middle of Leicester did not soften the blow. Although I do not support, agree with or even like the Labour Party, it saddens me to see a member of the UK’s already non-pluralist democracy take a gun to its ‘democratic-socialist’ head and pull the trigger in the form of a union-biased collegiate voting system. Let’s face it – he’s there because the unions have backed him. There’s nothing expressly wrong with that (the Labour Party was built on union principles), but it does seem strange that more Labour MPs and Shadow Cabinet members preferred David. Union members were able to vote several times for ‘Red Ed’, opening up huge flaws in the Party’s process – whatever happened to One Man, One Vote?

Now they’re stuck with the next Foot, Kinnock etc. who doesn’t stand a cat in Hell’s chance of winning a general election (especially now that David has valiantly stepped down from the Shadow Cabinet, opening up the Chancellor spot to Ed “let’s all max out even more credit cards” Balls).

However, I do like the fact that the Labour members seem to have voted ideologically. I welcome some conviction in politics, and I find that since I’ve been old enough to know what’s going on, there have been very few politicians who say what they believe in – it’s all about the media coverage and looking voter-friendly (with the notable exceptions of Ken Clarke, Simon Hughes and, dare I say it, Diane Abbott). I do therefore encourage a more left-wing ideology to enter the mix, having been disheartened last election thanks to all three parties sounding the same (not that I’d ever vote for a socialist!). If we had a nice proportional voting system, not the proposed Alternative Vote (scarcely better than First Past The Post) then we could see a wonderful cross-section of beliefs – and yes that does mean taking the oaf that is Nick Griffin seriously – to try and quote Voltaire, “I detest what you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it” – over half a million people voted BNP in May and they therefore deserve multiple Parliamentary seats. Proportional representation, although offering a platform to some highly unsavoury characters and beliefs, is the only fair way of judging the actual thoughts of the electorate.

Anyway, the future of the party looks bleak for the time-being. Balls, Burnham and Cooper seem set for Shadow Cabinet duty, Diane Abbott probably warrants some sort of ‘Social Affairs’ non-job, and look out for new-comer Luciana Berger; I've met her a few times and ambitious has nothing on her – expect a Home Office Junior Minister or something at age 28.

All’s I know is, after a crap few weeks things are looking up for the Right Honourable David Cameron...